Random thought for the day

From the “If they were in the business of making sense, this wouldn’t be an issue to begin with” files:

Sears, Roebuck and Co. distributes some high-quality products under its various house brand names: Kenmore appliances, Craftsman tools, etc. And to ensure the company maintains the reputation it has held for so many years, it hires the least competent people imaginable to sell and provide customer service for these high-quality products. Jay Leno, long before he became a multi-million-dollar network talk show host, made an entire cottage industry out of making fun of Sears’ recruits from its endless stacks of rejected applications to toll collection school.

And a few years ago, in order to secure its place at the very bottom of the retail barrel, Sears bought, and now manages, the Kmart chain for the real estate. Maybe their long-term vision for 2008 involves buying Countrywide for its mortgage division’s accounts receivable.

A few evenings ago I was sitting at a friend’s kitchen table while she was lamenting the idiots in Sears’ customer service department and the way they’d treated her during her more than 30 minutes on the phone with them trying to explain her problem and why they were responsible for repairing it.

If I had the forum – by which I don’t mean a blog read by approximately six-and-a-half people each week – I’d warn everyone that if they transact business in any way with Sears, they’re doomed to prolonged aggravation, either in the purchasing process or, more likely, on the back end. Or else I’d just remind all those possessors of poor long-term memories how the company screwed millions of automotive repair customers out of literally billions of dollars in the early 1990s by installing parts they knew were bad and charging for services they never performed.

For now, I’ll simply tell my friend and the other 5.5 people who read this week’s entry: Buy Sears stock (NYSE: SHLD) at your own risk. And buy what Sears has in stock at risk to your own sanity.