An open reminder to “actor” Stephen Baldwin: While no one really expects Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina to follow through on his commitment to drown himself if Obama won the electoral votes of his state’s neighbor to the north, those of us who appreciate good acting, or competent acting, or, indeed, acting in any form that resembles acting, are fully expecting you to make good on your “threat” to leave the country if “cultural terrorist” Barack Obama won the election.
Well, Mr. Baldwin, he not only won, but he won by a huge margin in both the popular vote and the electoral college, and lots of other Democrats beat Republican opponents, and now the Democrats control the White House and both houses of the U.S. Congress.
I and several of my fellow cinephiles are ready to pony up for you and a life partner or good friend to travel, and first-class at that, to any other country on earth save Canada (where it would be far too easy for you to commute to “acting” jobs in the U.S., but where you would likely be miserable anyway since most of their social and economic policies are far to the left of this country’s), contingent on your written agreement never to return and never to appear in another film with even a slight chance of ever being released or marketed in the United States. Think about it, Stephen. Free first-class tickets, complete with champagne and fawning flight attendants, and all you have to do is find another career. Hell, this time you might choose something at which you display at least a minimum of competence.
********************
There is babble in some circles that (still-)Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska (thank heaven) may try and shore up her credentials on the national stage by running for the U.S. Senate from her home state should Ted Stevens win re-election and then proceed to see his worthless, corrupt, decrepit ass booted the hell out of the august body. I think it’s an excellent idea, as well as prime opportunity for her test out her understanding of the role of the Vice President. If I recall correctly, Senator Palin would be unique in her self-imposed obligation to submit to the will of Vice President Joseph Biden, since her definition of role of Vice President includes his being in charge of the U.S. Senate and having the power to influence legislation and policy in said body. I eagerly anticipate Ms. Palin’s readiness and willingness, come Jan. 20, to defer unconditionally to the Vice President of the United States, Democrat Joseph Biden.
********************
Speaking of the Vice President-elect, I have an item that may serve to bring a modicum of comfort and even joy to the many humorists and pseudo-humorists concerned that their livelihoods and/or creative processes may be under threat by the fact that they no longer have powerful, hypocritical Republicans to beat up on anymore. While the hypocrisies of these men and women, coupled with their respective levels of discomfort with the English language, will no doubt be missed, fear not. For while President-elect Obama is noted for his rhetorical skill and grace, Mr. Biden will almost assuredly be speaking in public a great deal over the next four to eight years. And in 35 years in the Senate, he has rarely shortchanged your community when it comes to rhetorical fodder. Sure, he’s no George Bush – who, apart from his running mate’s opponent, is? – but there are millions of words in the language for him to misuse, and a seemingly infinite array of facts for him to mangle. So sleep soundly, intrepid seekers of the guffaw and the belly laugh. Thy cup still runneth over.
No comments:
Post a Comment