Illegal emigration

Let’s cut the crap. “If we raise taxes on the rich we’ll lose jobs in this country, and this country desperately needs jobs!” Well, the second part is true. But “we’ll lose jobs in this country” is like saying, in 2011, if we do such-and-so, “we’ll increase the cancer rate!”

The jobs are gone. So-called American companies, which benefit from American infrastructure, defense, etc., began sending jobs overseas en masse a decade or more ago. And since 2002, the tax environment in the U.S. for the rich has been extremely friendly, with enormous breaks for income, capital gains, dividends, etc., not to mention corporate tax breaks six ways from Sunday. Yet all those entitled corporate bastards can do is whine about how their taxes are too high and they can’t create jobs. They’ve created plenty of jobs in India, China, Malaysia, South America, and so on. How is it they’re allowed to continue being American companies?

We need to make emigration illegal. Not people emigrating—if you can afford it these days, I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you packed up and headed somewhere else. Then again, if you can afford it, you’re probably among those who are living higher than ever off the hog right now and wouldn’t dream of abandoning the golden goose (pretend I also worked something in there about a winged horse and the cat that swallowed the canary). No, we need to stop allowing jobs to emigrate. Build a wall around the borders, etc. Not a physical wall, but a digital one. Try and relocate jobs to India, and guess what? Your data won’t be able to follow. No employee data, no sales and marketing data, no production data and, worst of all, no data on executive perks. If even one dollar of next year’s bonus depends on revenue generated from overseas operations, you can kiss all that money goodbye.

For what it’s worth, this past weekend’s Wall Street Journal Weekend Edition contained a cover headline warning of the hidden costs of taxing the rich. I’d give more details, but I can’t gain access, as I refuse to pay for a subscription to a once-great publication that should now be retitled Murdoch’s Daily Masturbatory Fantasies.

I can imagine, though, that the “hidden” costs are pretty much the same as the alleged outward costs, with a bit more ominous language thrown in. One thing we’ll probably never hear about are the myriad glaring benefits to making profitable corporations and the rich pay their fair share of the tax burden.

One thing’s certain, though. If our corporate-owned, pussywhipped government would actually make the aforementioned emigration illegal, we’d have so many more jobs than we need, we’d actually welcome all the border jumpers just to fill all the extra vacancies. And that’s not to mention the beaucoup bucks in additional tax revenue.

But it won’t happen. Why? Because this is America, exceptional America, the greatest country in the history of the world. And anyone who suggests otherwise is guilty of giving aid and comfort to our enemies. Enemies like Communist China, where American companies save more than $1 trillion per year by eliminating U.S.-based jobs and employing their near-starving workers at less than a dollar a day. Enemies like Saudi Arabia, where we send hundreds of billions in oil revenues each year so they can fund their citizens to immigrate into this country legally, learn how to fly planes, hijack them and crash them into government buildings and skyscrapers. Enemies like President Obama, who, after being born in Kenya and educated in Indonesian madrases and manipulating his way into the Senate and then the White House and then agreeing to attack Libya because loudmouthed Republican politicians demanded that he do it until he did it at which point they retroactively decided it was a horrible idea.

Enemies like that.

Stop illegal emigration now.